"Be nice and be kind"

When I was using Twitter (I left long ago when Musk took over) I followed a very pleasant and knowledgable man - @AlanDaviesbirds. Look him up - he usually has something very positive to say, as well as being extremely well-versed in all things birdy.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this. It's because his tweets about birds invariably included the words "be nice and be kind". It's an ongoing reminder, in these dark, troubled and unsettling times, that we can all put something positive out there as we go about our daily lives.

 

What is there to gain by being grumpy, miserable, rude and nasty to others, most of whom we've never met? Would we still be so cuttingly nasty in a face to face situation, I wonder?

Thinking about putting out positivity in all areas of cour daily lives led me to think about which planet/energy, viewed through an astrological psychology lens, might be involved.

Venus maybe, as it's the planet closely associated with relating to others, along with beauty and harmony. Then there's Neptune, notching things up to a higher and often far more inclusive level.

 

Neptune is most likely to be the source of kindness, unconditional acceptance and non-judgemental love at its highest level - the level of mind - where "there is a desire for universal love as the highest ideal"  to quote from their book, The Planets, by Bruno and Louise Huber. 

 

On Neptune, they continue, "There is a heightened sensitivity and a refined awareness of communication (empathy) that breaks through all walls and flows from heart to heart.This is what Assagioli called loving understanding".

Could this be you, or me, putting this loving understanding into action and remembering to do and be this in our everyday lives? Of course, we all lapse, but if we forget about being kind, pleasant, helpful, inclusive and positive towards others, we stand in line to get an unpleasant reminder if the vitriol comes out in response!

We get back what we give out.

 

 

The Planets and their Psychological Meaning by Bruno and Louise Huber offers in-depth details of all the planets used in the natal chart.

 

January: Looking backwards or looking forwards?

 

I guess it all depends on where you’re at in the month of January. Maybe the looking backwards has already been done at the turning of the year and looking forward to the year ahead has already begun.

January is named after the Roman god Janus, here in this statue in Vienna looking a bit grim and definitely two-faced as he surveys what’s behind him with a serious face. Yet looking forward into the eyes of Bellona, goddess of war, there’s a gentleness and softness to his features. Could he be trying to defuse a difficult situation? 

Janus, in Roman mythology, was the god of gateways, doorways, archways and new beginnings – you get the drift. With one face turned to the past maybe his wisdom would have been sought in bringing forward into the future the positive aspects of life experiences tasted in the year gone by. The face turned towards the future would be seeking out the new; a clean slate waiting to be drawn upon in creative, innovative ways.

Well, that’s my take on it anyway. In the face of so any challenges and changes in the world we live in - and there are plenty of these right now -  we need some breakthroughs. And positivity. Good will. Warmth. Sharing of resources for those in need. Less selfish moneygrabbing and protection of wealth by those who are not in need. I could go on…..

Winter Solstice

It's had to ignore dark mornings, short days and dark afternoons at this time of year. Living in the northern hemisphere, we should be used to this. Maybe we are, and  seek solace and light in other forms; you have only to look at the many indoor and outdoor light decorations at this time of year.

As an astrologer, I’m aware – in a non-too-intensive way – of the movements of the planets. The Sun enters the sign of Capricorn on 21st December,  a widely known fact anyway, but it bears repeating because we all, myself included, need reminding of things from time to time. And it’s always good to reconnect with these cosmic events outside of ourselves in the face of the current Omicrom surge.

Acknowledging and connecting with the position of the Sun in relation to ourselves on Earth is something we can do relatively easily at this time of year, especially this year as we live with uncertainty under the speedily darkening shadow of Omicron.

On 21st December the Sun is at its furthest point away from the northern hemisphere, making this is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Meanwhile, down in the southern hemisphere the Sun is riding high in the sky as the exact opposite happens.

The winter solstice takes place in the deepest, darkest part of winter, when daylight is in short supply. Yet it is a festival of light which, in the northern hemisphere, coincides with Christmas. This Christian festival takes place at the same time of year as the pagan celebration of the solstice which celebrates the gradual and at first imperceptible return of the light of the Sun after the long days of darkness.

It’s the turning point of the year and marks the return of the light and the rebirth of the Sun (the Son in Christianity…?), together with the promise of the warmth and energy the Sun brings to make crops – essential to life – grow once again after the earth has lain dormant. Goodness knows, we need a bit of light and promise right now.

This is the time of year when people of all faiths, and none, can express their connection with the earth, our life upon it in relation to others we meet, our life upon it in relation to the other living creatures we share it with, and our place in the solar system.

It's a time when we can share the warmth of friendship at this turning point of the year and bring some light and joy into our own lives and the lives of others.

What  could you do at this time of year to bring a little light into your own life? Could it be time to nurture yourself spiritually? To look further than the superficial materialism of Christmas? What could you do?

Be kind?     Light a candle?     Call a friend?   Get in touch with someone you've not contacted for a while?    Perform a random act of kindness?   Take a risk and smile at strangers as you walk down the street? Listen to some music which touches your soul and warms your heart? Get out into nature, walk in it, connect with it, observe it, appreciate it?

If you begin to express some warmth of spirit, it's likely to be mirrored and come back to you. A random smile often begets a smile in return. A friendly word to a stranger often brings a friendly response in return.Try it!

Greetings of the season to everyone out there, and may the warmth of friendship be wrapped around you at this time of year. We need it more than ever this year, this solstice.

The Four-Fold Way

Some time back in the 1990s I came across the Four-Fold Way, which was referred to at a personal growth workshop I attended. The Four-Fold Way was attributed to anthropologist Angeles Arrien, and I was impressed by it’s four simple points of wisdom:

 

· Show up and choose to be present

· Pay attention to what has heart and meaning

· Tell the truth without blame of judgement

· Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome

 

This led me to read her book, entitled The Four-Fold Way - Walking the Paths of the Warrior, Teacher, Healer and Visionary. The book, its content and ethos have come back to mind right now. The times we are currently living in are full of change and divisions within society. Climate breakdown is not new, but the need to take on board and address the problems we're making for ourselves and future generations now have to urgently be addressed.

It's time for us all to start taking responsibility for ourselves and stop moaning.

Angeles Arrien suggests four paths we might take, and her opening sentence, way back in 1992 when the book was published, is pressingly relevant today. She says,

"Today it is imperative that we pay attention to ecological issues. Our planet, the house we live in, is in danger of becoming unliveable, due primarily to the neglect of our own industrialised society. It is clear we need to take action before it is too late."

She goes on to say that the word ecology comes from the Greek word oikos, which means house, in other words our "house", our planet.

The four ways she describes can be shown diagrammatically using the medicine wheel layout and includes the four points of the compass, and the four elements of fire, earth, air and water. Each Way has a single line description which more or less lays out what it's about.

The Way of the Warrior - Show up and choose to be present- the message here is to stip dillydallying about and do something, take action. The associated human resource is power, the way of living is right action.

The Way of the Healer - Pay attention to what has heart and meaning - this suggests don't allow yourself to get distracted (by smart phones, social media etc?) but remain in touch with what is really important and connected to your heart. The associated human resource is, unsurprisingly, love; the way of living is right speech.

The Way of the Visionary - Tell the truth without blame or judgement - here we have to remember to speak our own truth, be true to ourselves, and not take on board what others have tried to foist upon us. This can be a tough one as it's much easier to go along with things we don't really agree with in order to fit in, or keep the peace. And we have to remember not to blame or judge ourselves and others. The associated human resource here is vision, and the way of living, right placement.

The Way of the Teacher - Be open to outcome, not attached to outcome - the message is to stay open to the new and not have an end goal in mind. A good teacher will always be open to new ideas and viewpoints because so much fruitful material can come from staying open and learning more. Good teachers are always learning! The associated human resource is wisdom and the way of living is right timing.

Angeles Arrien’s work as an anthropologist, educator and facilitator of workshops aims to build a bridge between cultural anthropology, psychology and comparative religions, revealing how indigenous wisdoms are relevant to our families, professional lives and our relationship with the Earth itself. There is something in The Four-Fold Way for all who wish to develop themselves, their potential and their ability to live life creatively, and we need this approach more than ever right now, in our current times.

“Do all the good you can, with all the means you can, in all the ways you can, to all the people you can, as long as you can” - Angeles Arrien.

 

What would you like to see more of in the World?

 

Twelve years ago today, on 3rd Augsut 2009, I completed my one hour on the Fourth Plinth in Trafalgar Square, London, as part of artist Antony Gormley's "One and Other" project.

I'd been randomly selected from those who applied to stand on the plinth (my  daughter entered my name without me knowing) and on reflection it was one of the most memorable things I've ever done, although it was both scary and challenging at the time.

My granddaughter - my first grandchild - was born while I was on the plinth, making the event even more significant, and today is her 12th birthday. She's now pre-teen, and will be a teenager in a year's time. I'm currently musing on what sort of world - the world we're in right now - she's going to inherit.

Ahead of my stint on the plinth, I asked friends and family "What would you like to see more of in the world" and they provided plenty of words expressing different qualities.  I read these out while I was up on the plinth, many of them receiving cheers and applause from the crowd down below (they also cheered enthusiastically when I announced the birth of my first grandchild, news of which had been shouted up to me by excited family down on the ground).

In these current times of uncertainty, pandemic, upheaval and ever-encroaching climate change I feel the need to reiterate and re-share some of the words I read out as a reminder and a memory-jogger of collectively held aspirations for a better world. We can always do better.

It's easy to be complacent, especially after 16 months of lockdowns and disappointments, so it's good to remind myself (you too if you take this on board) that we all have the power - the "power of one" (ourselves) -  to work towards something more positive in the months and years ahead. And to remember that children - like my increasingly grown up granddaughter -  are our future.

While I was on the plinth I read out most of the 94 words sent to me by family and friends saying what they would like to see more of in the world. Everyone involved offered words which have qualities and meanings that are universally understood and go beyond the personal.

It's time to reconnect with them and live them.

 

Are you Nice or are you Kind?

Twin sisters, Brittany

I was inspired to explore the theme of "nice and kind" having read a blog post by Jane Fritz on this topic.

I left a comment on her blog, having pondered on the differences between being nice and being kind. Using my understanding of psychosynthesis, which underpins the astrological psychology which I use and am most familiar with, I said:

"...if you’re being “nice” you’re probaby coming from a sub-personality but if you’re being “kind” you’re coming from a far more authentic place – your very centre, the core of your being. Kindness is more of a transpersonal quality, aligned with love. If you’re coming from your centre, you’ll be heard (not neccesarily liked, but your truth will shine through), whereas being nice is more cosmetic and without depth and authenticity. But niceness and kindness can cooperate – it’s possible to be kind and nice at the same time, loving and firm."  

I went on ponder on how the expression of "niceness" and "kindness" might work out in the context astrological psychology, and specifically in an individual's natal chart. The Moon - the ego planet associated with contact needs, emotional dependency and the need to be loved - is most likely to be the root and base from which nice and kind behaviour stems.

Expression of the nice aspect of the Moon may come when this planet is operating at an asleep, unaware level, when childish needs, often ignored when the person was growing up, are still seeking fulfillment, and they do not want to be hurt, or for  things to be unpleasant, or to be seen as someone who is not "nice". So what may be presented to the world is not neccesarily "nice" as it may have other, often unconscious motivations driving it.

Being kind is another matter altogether, and draws on the awake, fully conscious aspects of the Moon. Coming from this place, the person is comfortable within their own feelings, and far more aware of their needs; they can ask for them to be met and they don't have to skate around things being nice; they can be direct. The qualities which come into play here are harmlessness, openess, receptivity, sensitivity and compassion.

Of course, most of us can be both nice and kind - if you're being kind you're going to be nice, pleasant, well-mannered, good humoured and all the other meanings in between - and you're very likely to be expressing kindness and consideration too.

The elderly twin sisters in the photo at the start of this post seem to me to be expressing not just being nice as they did their volunteer work in this church in Brittany, they were being kind too. Their faces show warmth, they were friendly, charming and had a sense of humour too. Their kindness shines through.

We need kindness, probably more then ever right now, in this stage of our human evolution, and as we work our way through this pandemic.

Kindness

Mural, Houston, Texas

 

 

 

 

Being kind. It's something many of us have beome more aware of since early March, when life as we'd grown used to was turned into life as we'd never before imagined.

Kindness, friendliness and good manners were very noticeable at the start of the major lockdown in the UK. The few people one met when out strictly observed their distance and said hello or smiled (I live in north west England, where this happens anyway, but in lockdown people seemed even friendier - there was a need for contact).

Now, with coronavirus around the world, and restrictions of some sort or another still in place, it seems even more relevant that we human beings all remember that we're human beings and express kindness and consideration to each other. We're all in his together. Especially at this time of year when families are eager to get together over the Christmas holiday period.

But are people still being as kind or considerate? Experience of this when out walking suggests "No, not so much". There are those who courtesously observe distancing, and who smile and say thank you when we give way on a narrower pavement and wait until they've passed. And there are those who totally ignore distancing, carry on as though nothing is happening and - I have to be honest here - look pretty miserable (as they may be), don't make eye contact, don't acknowledge with a smile or a "thankyou" if you wait for them to pass. They seem very unaware of others, and they don't show much evidence of kindness either.

The book "The Boy, the Mole, the Fox and the Horse" by Charlie Mackesey is full of gentle wisdom and reminders that none of us is perfect, but we can all support and help each other along the way by being kind. To quote from the book:

"Nothing beats kindness," said the horse, "It sits quietly beyond all things."

"Being kind to yourself is one of the greatest kindnesses." said the mole.

Being kind might involve being more tolerant and understanding of others. It's a quality which is difficult to pin down and put into one explanatory word, but you know it when you see or experience it. Kindness is a manifestation of the transpersonal quality of Love. In Psychosynthesis terms it's an expression of love in action; in Astrological Psychology it's symbolised by the planet Neptune's qualities of love and inclusiveness.

Earlier this year I watched the film "It's a beautiful day in the neighbourhood" starring Tom Hanks as Fred Rogers, or Mister Rogers, as he was known when he presented his TV show for children. I knew nothing about him; Mister Rogers was not on UK TV in the 1970s. But I enjoyed the film very much because it was almost 100% about being kind to people, accepting them as they are, acknowledging their faults, fears and misgivings and not judging them.

The film is based on a true story, but the facts have been tweaked as film versions of stories so often are. In this case, it didn't matter too much because the end product was heartwarming, showing us how people could be and how, if they were wounded or hurt inside, this could be overcome, transcended and transformed.

Love, acceptance and being kind - worth striving for, I think.