Bittersweet

 

Sun, clouds and sea, Isle of Barra

In the book Bittersweet – how sorrow and longing make us whole by Susan Cain, the author explores something you might recognise immediately, just by reading the title, especially if you’re the kind of person who’s drawn to what is poignant in life. This set me thinking astrologically about which planet or planets might be associated with what is bittersweet in life, and I came up with strong possibilities for these being Moon, Venus and Neptune, but of course it doesn't stop there and readers may have their own ideas - if so, please share/comment.

In astrological psychology, the Moon represents the sense of self we gain through our feelings and emotions, and in the natal chart it can indicate how we might go about getting our emotional needs met. The Moon is also an indicator of the inner child. It can signify our spontaneous and fun-loving child-like responses, and it also acts like a mirror, reflecting what's going on around us because it can sense and pick up on atmospheres and feelings very easily. It's an important sensing tool, the part of us that feels.

Venus represents the drive to be selective and choose, using discrimination. Venus is associated with our ability to form relationships, to develop and express our aestheic tastes and preferences, to pursue what is harmonious and beautiful and, as a sensory organ, to use our physical sense of taste. The energies of Venus will be as fully engaged when you're eating a meal, as when you're visiting an art gallery, deciding on a colour scheme, listening to a piece of music or forming a new friendship. And, of course, falling in love.

Neptune notches things up to a higher and often far more inclusive level. Neptune is most likely to be the source of kindness, unconditional acceptance and non-judgemental love at its highest level - the level of mind - where "there is a desire for universal love as the highest ideal"  to quote from their book, The Planets, by Bruno and Louise Huber. 

On Neptune, they continue, "There is a heightened sensitivity and a refined awareness of communication (empathy) that breaks through all walls and flows from heart to heart.This is what Assagioli called loving understanding".

Could this be you, or me, putting this loving understanding into action and remembering to do and be this in our everyday lives? Of course, we all lapse, but if we forget about being kind, pleasant, helpful, inclusive and positive towards others, we stand in line to get an unpleasant reminder if the vitriol comes out in response! 

 

So how does this fit in with the idea of bittersweet?

Merriam-Webster’s dictionary defines Bittersweetness as

“a tendency to states of longing, poignancy, and sorrow; an acute awareness of passing time; and a curiously piercing joy at the beauty of the world.”

To that I’d add yearning, the desire to be reunited with something or someone who is no longer there, or to search after an elusive goal, place or state of mind which we seek in order to feel whole, fufilled or spirit-full. Bittersweet includes both the light and the dark, exploring how the combination and meeting of sadness and joy can trigger our own creativity and open a portal to something greater than our personal selves. It can be transformative, and can be recognised as something we already “knew” when we meet it (but had forgotten about).

Bittersweet is found in sad (often beautiful) music with minor key notes…..in browsing old family photographs…..in rainy days….in intense reactions to music, art, nature and beauty, and is often accompanied by goosebumps. I’d add, based on my own experience of bittersweet, that a flash of insight, or a sudden recognition of a half-remembered, dream-like something from the past could be bittersweet too.

The book contains a short quiz to help the reader identify whether or not they are a bittersweet type, and it’s also available on line, as is her curated list of bittersweet music. You may want to try that out.

Cain shares examples of bittersweet experiences in her own life and draws on the experiences of others she meets during her thorough research for this book. She shows how a bittersweet state of mind is the quiet force which helps us transcend our personal and collective pain, whether from a death or breakup, addiction or illness. She asserts that if we don’t acknowledge our own heartache we can end up inflicting it on others, maybe through abuse, domination, or neglect. Once we realise that all humans know—or will know—loss and suffering, we can turn toward one another, rather than turn away, and connect with joy as well as sadness in a bittersweet moment.

I’ll share a couple of quotes from the book. If you read it, I hope you gain as much from it as I did:

Most of all, bittersweetness shows us how to respond to pain: by acknowledging it, and attempting to turn it into art, the way musicians do, or healing, or innovation, or anything else that nourishes the soul.

The love you lost, or the love you wished for but never had: that love exists eternally. It shifts its shape, but it’s always there. The task is to recognise it in its new form.

For more info see Susan Cain’s website

"Be nice and be kind"

When I was using Twitter (I left long ago when Musk took over) I followed a very pleasant and knowledgable man - @AlanDaviesbirds. Look him up - he usually has something very positive to say, as well as being extremely well-versed in all things birdy.

You may wonder why I'm writing about this. It's because his tweets about birds invariably included the words "be nice and be kind". It's an ongoing reminder, in these dark, troubled and unsettling times, that we can all put something positive out there as we go about our daily lives.

 

What is there to gain by being grumpy, miserable, rude and nasty to others, most of whom we've never met? Would we still be so cuttingly nasty in a face to face situation, I wonder?

Thinking about putting out positivity in all areas of cour daily lives led me to think about which planet/energy, viewed through an astrological psychology lens, might be involved.

Venus maybe, as it's the planet closely associated with relating to others, along with beauty and harmony. Then there's Neptune, notching things up to a higher and often far more inclusive level.

 

Neptune is most likely to be the source of kindness, unconditional acceptance and non-judgemental love at its highest level - the level of mind - where "there is a desire for universal love as the highest ideal"  to quote from their book, The Planets, by Bruno and Louise Huber. 

 

On Neptune, they continue, "There is a heightened sensitivity and a refined awareness of communication (empathy) that breaks through all walls and flows from heart to heart.This is what Assagioli called loving understanding".

Could this be you, or me, putting this loving understanding into action and remembering to do and be this in our everyday lives? Of course, we all lapse, but if we forget about being kind, pleasant, helpful, inclusive and positive towards others, we stand in line to get an unpleasant reminder if the vitriol comes out in response!

We get back what we give out.

 

 

The Planets and their Psychological Meaning by Bruno and Louise Huber offers in-depth details of all the planets used in the natal chart.

 

Winter Solstice

It's had to ignore dark mornings, short days and dark afternoons at this time of year. Living in the northern hemisphere, we should be used to this. Maybe we are, and  seek solace and light in other forms; you have only to look at the many indoor and outdoor light decorations at this time of year.

As an astrologer, I’m aware – in a non-too-intensive way – of the movements of the planets. The Sun enters the sign of Capricorn on 21st December,  a widely known fact anyway, but it bears repeating because we all, myself included, need reminding of things from time to time. And it’s always good to reconnect with these cosmic events outside of ourselves in the face of the current Omicrom surge.

Acknowledging and connecting with the position of the Sun in relation to ourselves on Earth is something we can do relatively easily at this time of year, especially this year as we live with uncertainty under the speedily darkening shadow of Omicron.

On 21st December the Sun is at its furthest point away from the northern hemisphere, making this is the shortest day and longest night of the year. Meanwhile, down in the southern hemisphere the Sun is riding high in the sky as the exact opposite happens.

The winter solstice takes place in the deepest, darkest part of winter, when daylight is in short supply. Yet it is a festival of light which, in the northern hemisphere, coincides with Christmas. This Christian festival takes place at the same time of year as the pagan celebration of the solstice which celebrates the gradual and at first imperceptible return of the light of the Sun after the long days of darkness.

It’s the turning point of the year and marks the return of the light and the rebirth of the Sun (the Son in Christianity…?), together with the promise of the warmth and energy the Sun brings to make crops – essential to life – grow once again after the earth has lain dormant. Goodness knows, we need a bit of light and promise right now.

This is the time of year when people of all faiths, and none, can express their connection with the earth, our life upon it in relation to others we meet, our life upon it in relation to the other living creatures we share it with, and our place in the solar system.

It's a time when we can share the warmth of friendship at this turning point of the year and bring some light and joy into our own lives and the lives of others.

What  could you do at this time of year to bring a little light into your own life? Could it be time to nurture yourself spiritually? To look further than the superficial materialism of Christmas? What could you do?

Be kind?     Light a candle?     Call a friend?   Get in touch with someone you've not contacted for a while?    Perform a random act of kindness?   Take a risk and smile at strangers as you walk down the street? Listen to some music which touches your soul and warms your heart? Get out into nature, walk in it, connect with it, observe it, appreciate it?

If you begin to express some warmth of spirit, it's likely to be mirrored and come back to you. A random smile often begets a smile in return. A friendly word to a stranger often brings a friendly response in return.Try it!

Greetings of the season to everyone out there, and may the warmth of friendship be wrapped around you at this time of year. We need it more than ever this year, this solstice.