"The Inner Work of Age - shifting from Role to Soul" formed part of the research for my recent co-authored book, The Second Tme Around, looking at life beyond age 70+, and the opportunities this phase of life brings for renewal.
It was a book I could relate to, understand and learn from. Not only was it an excellent read, it was a nudge and a reminder of things I'd forgotten. It flagged up things I'd either been mulling over or had received sudden insights about, and is featured in Chapter 3 - What other authors say about this stage of life, in The Second Time Around.
Author Connie Zweig, a retired psychotherapist, draws on her personal experience of being an Elder alongside her professional work with others, also Elders, travelling the path from role to soul. She likens Elders to teachers or mentors, those who willingly pass on the wisdom of their life experience, not from a place of ego, or of needing recognition for their know how, but simply because they are at ease with themselves just as they are and don't need to prove anything, or be how others might "expect" them to be.
Zweig suggests that as Elders, behaving in this way, give hard-won knowledge to the next generation, welcoming a new generation of seekers and agents of change. The ego is set aside; it has no place when role or roles, which might have defined us during our more active working life, are dropped as the essence of soul begins to find it's place.
Whilst reading the book and reviewing my own status as Elder (yes, I'm old enough for this) I had some significant, transformative experiences and insights as I'd been evaluating myself and my relationships, contacts and friendships – their value, importance and permanence. I examined the depth, richness and quality of my current interactions with others, and realised that I’d become far more selective and discriminating about who I choose to spend time with. No longer willing to waste time or energy or pussyfooting about with relationships which don't hit the spot for me, I’m far more comfortable now being straight, truthful and outspoken.
In this Elder phase of life, I’m far more perceptive and discriminating about who I can trust and who I can’t. As for my "role", I'm not really clear if I now have one. Yes, I'm a retired teacher and as such I can always seize what is called "the teachable moment" with children and adults alike, but retired it's a lot easier being a volunteer in the classroom rather than being in charge.
I’ve made personal and psychological changes to myself and my outlook over the past couple of years, and I’ve questioned what my role, if any, is meant to be – or if I even need a “role”. Volunteering is one way Elders shift from role to soul - they become more involved in sharing their skills and knowledge and energy in society, for the benefit of others. And of course, they get a lot back from doing so, quietly being themselves and not needing the ego boost.
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